Krissy

To an old friend

2011-02-17T20:46:00.001-08:00

I know you're too busy to entertain a text from a frenemy but I need you now more than ever. If you have time, please let me talk to you. I need somebody who knows me better than anyone. And I know that you do. You're the only person in this world who understands what I'm going through. I've been in this "situation" before. We both did. And that is why, I wanted to be enlightened. I don't want to be judged. I need an advice, an opinion and most especially I need a friend. I consider you a best friend even though I know and I feel that you don't really want to be friends with my anymore. I could tell you still doubt my sincerity but I still trust you. Please, make some time for me. I am so desperate to talk with you.

Sincerely yours,

Kristine

Random

2011-01-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

Relationships are messy. They are not supposed to be happy or maybe at first they are. If yours is like a fantaserye type (the always happy ones) then something should be wrong with it or with you. On the other hand, if you can classify it as a teleserye type (the rollecoster ones) don't worry, that's just fine, perfectly normal. Strange isn't it.

♥

2011-01-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

Vodka nights to remember ♥ Thanks for all these wonderful memories

12/31/10 just a few minutes before 2011 :)

I could only love you this much

2011-01-01T09:13:00.000-08:00

I can't love you any further. I've come to a point where I feel I am loving you more than I should, more than anybody else, more than myself. It scares me knowing that too much love inside me can make me weaker. It's turning me into this person I've always hated. A monster. A selfish, possessive and pathetic monster. It doesn't feel right. It pains me.

Truth remains and I love you and I will always do.

But I could only love you this much.

People change, and so do I (A happy new year message)

2010-12-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

Hello there 2010!

Let's do a recap. Early this year, just when I decided I was happy with my single but sexy life, some guy added me on facebook. This really cute guy who happened to be a crush, and who, (lucky me) is crushing on me as well became my boyfrenemy-- And that started it all and became the main highlight of this year.

But that's not just it. There's plenty of other things that happened (some are pretty, and some nasty) this year.

2010 has certainly added some twists to my then predictable and boring life. Twists that were both momentous and tragic. I must say, it's not as bad as 2009a.k.a the bitch; In fact, it was far better. The then sad, lonely, emotionally unstable kristine became a much improved version- now happy, unlonely but still emotionally unstable at times (or a lot of times).

There are numerous of new things that I encountered, achievements and experiences that made me stronger than ever and struggles that brought me closer to God. I'm grateful and thankful because God has been good to me even though I'm not.

First off, (insert law school drama here) I reached third year with a smile. Second year was a very tough one for me but I was able to make it to third year and was glad because this year (2nd year, 2nd sem), I was able to get some concrete validation that in law school, you still get what you deserve and that inspires me to do good. Hopefully (and I'm praying for it) I could also reach fourth year next sem with a much bigger one. Thank you Big bro!

Also this year, I found myself a way to finally give up smoking. It did not only save me from pre-mature aging, yellowish teeth, dry hair and dull lips, most importantly it did save me. It saved my life! Thanks to boyfie for convincing me to quit which both of us did.

I became closer to God. Yes I admit I don't go to mass regularly every Sunday just like normal devoted Catholics do nor frequent St. Jude or St. Claire, but that alone doesn't necessarily mean I don't have faith in Him. The things that happened to me triggered this desire to reignite a closer relationship with God and I am happy, very very happy with it.

I also discovered who my real friends are. I have plenty of friends some of them common, and even gained more (hello 3s people!) but only a few remained true(maybe the others are yet to be discovered hopefully this coming year). For 2011, that is my only wish, to have a real best friend preferably a she. It's good to be content with what you have but it would really be nice to have one soon.

Last but certainly not the least, I found the love of my life. I found it when I wasn't even looking for it. It's one irony of life that you'd never learn to hate and as i mentioned above, it's the highlight of 2010. I have never been this happy and content. It makes me want to thank 2009 for being such a bitch because all the bucket of tears I cried last year are worth it. So to whom it may concern, thank you. Thank you for being a great best friend, boyfriend, and enemy all at the same time but let's bring all these cheesiness somewhere (maybe in another post) shall we? You know that I love you. You're the best boyfrenemy 3-in-1 dot dot dot ♥♥♥

So much for the good stuffs, of course I never ran out of problems too! Problems are a staple in my everyday life. Family, friends, boyfriend and law school problems combined, that sure is heavy. I even encountered a huge one which almost changed everything BUT overall, and despite all that, I am happy. Even though I still have continuing problems at present, I am still happy.

Thank you to those people who brought wonderful changes in me and thanks 2010 for introducing changes into my life. The person I have become is still a work in progress and I'm excited! I hope 2011 would be sugar, spice and everything nice.

To my family, friends, sisses, classmates, boyfriend, girlfriends and to everyone, I'm wishing you all the best in 2011! Happy new year! :)

Til my heartaches end movie review

2010-12-30T07:37:00.000-08:00

I'm a fan of Pinoy/Tagalog chick flicks. In fact, one of my favorite channels on TV is Cinema One (too bad we changed our cable line to Destiny tss). I love how it leaves me feeling excited for love or sometimes, desperate for one and especially those which truly touch my heart, it has its way of reaching people's emotions due to its being so relatively realistic.

*And that is why I love watching Tagalog movies.

Recently and due to insistent demands, I downloaded this movie of Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson entitled "Til My Heartaches End". If I'm not mistaken, it's their latest movie (hopefully not the last) together. I wasn't able to watch it on screen because of some reasons but it's actually a good thing probably that it is only now that I was able to watch it. Later, I'll explain why.

And for my personal review . . .

The story was common.

Two totally different individuals bumping into each other in two random occasions and eventually falling in love is nothing but vernacular like an ordinary everyday speech. Then again, it worked (for me perhaps). One thing I didn't like about the story was that it was too literal to the point that it left me hanging in the end. The movie title really AND LITERALLY meant what it was trying to say- Til' my heartaches end. It ended just as soon as Kim (or Agnes) has moved on and to me, it could have been better than JUST THAT.

The characters were a bit realistic.

Agnes in the film is an epitome of a typical girl; passive, calm, innocent. She's a simple and quiet one who had her world revolved on his boyfriend alone. To the last description, most girls out there *ehem* could probably relate. I find her stupid though but yeah, very typical of most women; I mean, basing it from experience alone.

Paolo on the other hand was way too cocky for me. I think his character was exaggerated. Realistic in a way because most men nowadays are cocky (if you know what I mean). He's too presko and talkative which I absolutely dislike in men. His character is a contrast to the very passive personality of Agnes. I find it very much like Landon-Jaime of "A Walk To Remember". Their personalities are somewhat similar in a sense.

Lea (the third party) is such a slut. Her character is what most women would find as "kontrabida" or "epal". Relationship wreckers are the twists in every normal relationships and in this movie, it is very much expected. I know majority if not all women, could attest to this.

The script was good.

The lines were those of a normal boyfriend or girlfriend that is why I find it realistic. I think the director of the film aimed to picture an ordinary relationship and the realities of falling in and out of love, the joys and heartaches of a normal couple. It was good although nothing extra-ordinary. The good thing about this is that it conforms to reality. I myself can relate to some of the lines uttered by both of them.

OVERALL, the movie is so-so. It's a good tear-jerker especially to those who can relate to the story line. I cried so much while watching this movie because I can see myself in the character of Agnes and personally, I find it very representational. The reason I was able to relate to the film was because I've had the same experience with my current boyfriend who, just like Paolo is a "yuppy" struggling to balance career with his love life. It hit me the way the movie "One More Chance" did although I must say, I haven't seen any movie which is as successful as OMC. It's still the best tear-jerker movie for me. On the downside, I was just quite disappointed with how the movie ended. They should have prolonged the suffering and guilt on the part of Paolo which could have made it even better. It was very biten but I would still give a thumbs up for this movie.

Simple joys of life

2010-12-25T22:47:00.000-08:00

I think I mentioned this somewhere, that in life we sometimes neglect the small things that other people do for us when in fact, those little and tiny things are the ones that really leave a mark.

Today, I received a message (through ever reliable facebook) from a beloved College professor. He is one of the professors who inspired and influenced me to actually pursue law. He greeted me belated happy birthday which to me was really touching. I added him last week on facebook when I saw his comment on my friend's status. I was a bit shy to post something on his wall to somehow express that I would never forget him and his teachings but today, I was surprised to receive such a simple yet meaningful message coming from him.

He was my professor in Obligations and Contracts and Negotiable Instruments. To me back then, both subjects especially Nego was gothic but he persistently took efforts to help us better understand the subjects. It is only when I was already in Law school (1st two years to be specific) that I appreciate everything including the class syllabus. He's been such a great professor I must say.

I remember I had this promise that right after I finish law school and take the bar, I will go back to UST and thank four professors whom I consider relevant and influential to me: Atty. Danielito Jimenez (my professor in Labor, Sales), Atty. Gerry Banzon (my professor in Obligations and Contracts and Negotiable Instruments), Atty. Antonio Chua (my professor in Corporation Law and Taxation) and Sir Bobby Torres (my professor in all my management subjects). I promised myself to do good in law school so that someday, these professors will feel proud that I was once their student as much as I am proud and thankful to have been taught by them.

I will never forget you my dear professors. Someday I will fulfill my promise. Thank you for everything :)

Productivity at its best

2010-12-25T08:47:00.001-08:00

I was inspired by my professor's Christmas message for us during our christmas party for Specpro class (as you know, it's one of the popular maneuvers of law students to avoid recitations) that I started making my case digests this early. Usually, and for the love of cramming, I write them a few days before the deadline. The things he told us really inspired me to put my heart into everything I do (and making handwritten case digests is not an exception). He was right. Although I am just merely copying everything from another's digests and despite the very lengthy facts and ruling which normally would piss me off, if you put some passion into it, you will be able to finish it and yes, I was able to finish my case digests due on January today without having to compromise my handwriting. Yeeey! Congrats to me. Now I can start digesting the rest of the cases for Specpro or Taxation without pressure :)

my digest materials

hello digests

But oh, now I'm reminded of my backlogs. Must now shift my motivation to reading codals and cases which is by the way very much overdue. TALK ABOUT KILL JOY SCHOOL WORKS!

A meaningless christmas then and now

2010-12-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas to many is a time to spend quality time with family and relatives, a time to receive gifts or even party to some or a time to celebrate the birth of Christ. But in my case, Christmas is never a happy picture. It is more of a realization of how broken and pathetic our family is.

For the past years, our home every Christmas is a house with different people in it trying so hard to imitate an image of a happy family which obviously, we're not. It's been a constant feeling of disgust, hatred and regret masked by a fancy feast. The sumptuous food in the dining table cannot even compensate for the mixed feelings that abound the four corners of our so called "home".

I consider this a curse; a sad and broken memory of loss. Having been deprived of the feeling of having a complete and happy family for so many years is like losing a huge part of our lives. Sometimes I wish I have a different family, different set of parents, different siblings. Sometimes I wish I could do something about it. Unfortunately for me, I have to endure each and every Christmas this way. It's a sad reality.

Here's a picture of my family back in the days when everything used to be "normal".

On second thoughts, it couldn't be any worse than others who lost a loved one on or before Christmas eve so yeah, there's still something to be thankful for.

As for my Christmas wish (before December 25, 2010 ends), I wish for my parents' reconciliation; that someday both of them would humbly realize their mistakes and that both of them would at least be civil with each other. That's all I ever wanted ever since.

Birthday message :)

2010-12-24T00:08:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday babes! :)

Best gift I've received so far

2010-12-22T03:57:00.000-08:00

No amount of money could buy the happiness I am feeling now that I have Chris in my life. I am very thankful to God that He granted my wish to have someone to love and love me back. He's the best thing that happened to me this year. I've never been this happy with anyone. I couldn't ask for more.

♥♥♥

Has it all been worth it?

2010-10-26T10:04:00.001-07:00

A few months back, I was that skinny lonely girl who has gotten her heart broken, ruined and tattered by some undeserving totally unappreciative jerk and that was it. That was all I could remember. I hate to picture just how exactly my world seemed to suck, how I allowed myself to self-destruct and how I made my happiness dependent on some foolish love-hate (more of hate-hate-hate) affair. Anyway, I refuse to elaborate on the ugly parts of the story but basically, that's how unhealthy my lifestyle was {or my heart was}.

After 8 months of fooling around, trying to amuse myself with "temporary replacements" and after a futile and desperate search for a perfect rebound, I decided to quit. That for me was a fresh start. It took me a long while before I learned how to value my own self-worth. I became happy once more and that's when I decided, I do not need a boyfriend.

But life as we know it can sometimes become a total bitch. Just when you thought you can be happy by yourself alone, life would shower you with options. Options that would leave you thinking, should I go for it or not, options that would convince you that it is otherwise--and then the greatest irony happened.

At the risk of sounding silly (or cheesy) I would love to believe it was destiny that happened. But let me defend myself by saying that initially, I did not believe there's even such a thing. To me, that was bullshit until I finally experienced it and it all changed in an instant.

I met him.

I immediately developed a massive one-day crush on him the moment I first saw him in school. I struck him as a cute law school professor like e.g Atty Dizon but that was three years ago and was the first and last time I saw him. I was a freshman and he was on his junior year in law school. Next thing I know he's now my textmate, my bestfriend and my lover boyfriend. He's now mine!

The funny thing about it was that it all started with facebook. It's one thing I should be thankful about having a facebook account. He was the one who added me as his friend and you wouldn't want to know how he was able to find me. Okay insert {super kilig} here. We weren't really friends or acquaintances in the first place but even before he added me, I have to admit that I was guilty of semi-stalking him in guess what, facebook too! I do not want to go over the details but that's how I concluded that everything that transpired before and after was really what most people would say as "destiny" or could be "serendipity". We became what we are right now which is another long story to tell and that was the start of my happiest days.

That option I was talking about brought so many changes in my life. I'm much happier now. Although there are a few times that we argue the way boyfriend-girlfriends normally do, I wouldn't trade this for the happiness a single life would offer. He's everything I want and everything I need albeit, I have to say everything about him except for the looks, were exactly the things I never thought I would love in a guy. I don't normally fall for mushy guys and his personality isn't that which fits the description of my queer concept of an ideal guy. But it seems now, I made the right choice. I haven't been more happy with my relationship than I do now and though it's way too early to tell, I know I haven't been more sure with anyone but him. Definitely, it's worth the wait and definitely he's worth it :)

Back in the arms of the lost love

2010-10-24T05:42:00.001-07:00

Blogging.

It has been a while since I last considered [seriously considered] blogging. Blogging used to be part of my daily routine back in the days when everything was fresh, raw and absurdly juvenile. It was during college that I learned how ranting could be so easy via blog. I have blogged around 765 entries in my many scattered and inactive blogs most of which can be found in my then infamous and now defunct dramaprincess blog. My immaturely crafted masterpiece never fails to make me laugh each time I re-read them. I still have them but it is now on private mode.

I somehow missed blogging. My twitter and facebook accounts both have become an alternative but blogs still best suffices my everyday ranting need. I guess I'm back. I'm hoping and expecting to improve my writing skills thru blogging hopefully with more sense rather than form.

So to me readers, if there's any, welcome to my blog.